


A Different Promise

by aceofhearts88



Series: Howling at the Stars [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I am not calling the kid Aegon, Tower of Joy, over my dead body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofhearts88/pseuds/aceofhearts88
Summary: Ned Stark doesn't find his sister alone in her torment and makes a different promise.





	A Different Promise

Ned raced up the stairs, could feel his heart pounding in his chest with every step he took, sword at the ready because despite what Howland seemed to think, Ned could count. And six wasn't seven. 

He could name them all.

The Lannister boy in King's Landing, slaid the Mad King, awaiting Robert's judgement in the Black Cells.

Prince Lewyn Martell and Jonothor Darry, killed at the Trident. Barristan Selmy, injured heavily at the Trident but Robert sent his Maesters to him, saved the Knight, offered him the Lord Commander position once he was better and had bent the knee.

Oswell Whent and Gerold Hightower, their bodies dead in the sand on the ground outside this blasted tower. Howland would see to it that their bodies would be given a proper burial. 

That made six.

Not seven.

Robert had been adamant in his instructions the morning after the battle, identify the dead as good as possible, he wanted to see the Prince's loyalists dead. And Ned himself had been searching for one face especially, those lilac eyes, that pale hair, so similar to the Last Dragon, the so very dead Last Dragon.

He hadn't found him in the dead of the Trident, hadn't found him in King's Landing, hadn't found him outside the Tower.

Where was Arthur Dayne?

He reached the top of the staircase at the side of the tower and frowned at the silence before he kicked the door open and raised his sword, well aware that no one stood a chance against the Sword of the Morning. But he needed to, he needed to get to his sister.

He was met with no fight, just silence in a room that smelled so intendly of roses and blood that it made him gag for a long moment as his eyes took it all in. A woman standing pressed against the far wall, her arms holding blankets, another woman with a bowl of water and a linen cloth in her hands frozen next to the bed in the middle of the room.

His eyes saw Dawn next, the famous milky white blade resting against a bedpost. Out of reach of its master. For Arthur Dayne was kneeling at the side of the bed, head bowed onto the edge of the mattress, onto his hands. He wasn't even wearing armor, his white tunic bloodied, as he knelt still and unmoving.

And then, then Ned caught sight of his sister.

"Lya."

He was at her side in a heartbeat, on the other side of the bed than Ser Arthur and Lyanna smiled upon seeing him, reaching out a hand weakly. The hand that wasn't resting on Ser Arthur's head, a thumb softly stroking over pale hair. 

"Ned." Lyanna whispered, and his heart broke all over again when he looked into her eyes, tried to not glance at the blood. All this blood. The bedsheets soaked with it, the dress soaked with it. Ned knew what had happened, knew what was happening, but he didn't want to know, he didn't want it to be real. "Ned, I'm so sorry."

"Shh, Lya, it's okay." He shushed her quickly, tears jumping in his eyes when she smiled sadly at him, her small cold hand clutched in his larger ones. "Isn't there a Maester?" Ned called out, looking from the woman with the blankets to the one with the water, both of them lowered their eyes, he could make out the crest of Starfall on the clothes of one.

"I don't want a Maester." Lyanna drew his attention back to her, "I don't want to go on, Ned. Not without him." It all fell together then, everything his mind had created since Brandon's letter had fallen into his hands, everything crumbled together into the lie it had been. "I will not live without him. I can't, Ned, not without Rhaegar."

_He took her. The Prince took her. He kidnapped our sister!_

No, he thought now where everything was too late. No, he thought as he looked into his little sister's hopeless eyes, no, Brandon, she ran. She ran from the life we tried to force on her, Prince Rhaegar just offered his hand.

"Did you truly love him?" He asked, leaning down to kiss his sister's forehead, she was clammy with fever, like mother, all like mother when father took Brandon and him to say goodbye.  
"I do. I do love him." Lyanna whispered, her breaths already so shallow, "And you have to do two things for me, Ned. You have to promise."

"Everything." He told her at once, didn't care what it would be, didn't care of what he would have to do, honor be damned for you, Lyanna, my little sister. Ned found himself so grateful that he had pushed and pushed Robert to bow under the captured soldiers' pleas and Ser Barristan's croaked begging to not just let the dead Prince rot away, as much as Robert had wanted to do it. Now Rhaegar was nothing more than ash, but at least his soul could be with Lyanna wherever the dead went.

Ned had never cared for it, gone was gone.

But she was his little sister.

'I swore myself to always protect you, to always make sure you were as happy as a golden sun on a summer's morning. And I failed you.'

Weak fingers tugged at silver blond hair and Ned watched with baited breath how Arthur Dayne straightened up again, he looked terrible. His face showing the pain that Lyanna must have been feeling but didn't show, lilac eyes were red rimmed and empty.

"I know Os and Gerold are dead now, or you wouldn't be up here." Lyanna began, her voice stronger than Ned could give himself credit for his own, she had always been so much stronger than all of them, Winterfell's she-wolf. He winced at the soft tone in her voice, at the nickname used for Whent. He had killed men his sister had befriended. Lyanna wrapped a hand around Arthur Dayne's right one, smiled faintly at him when he curled both of his around hers before she turned back to look up at Ned, "Keep Arthur alive. He will not fight, so I beg of you do not hurt him. He has been a dearest friend. Guide him to Starfall, let him take a ship to Essos, Ned, let him live."

Ned nodded, no pause to think about it, no matter what Robert's orders had been, this was his little sister pleading on her deathbed, she would always come first. 

And besides, Arthur Dayne looked like a man who would only present himself to the blade, and Ned was no executioner. 

"And Jon will need him. Jon will need someone to tell him about his father." Lyanna smiled through her words and Ned snapped his look from her to the tortured looking eyes of Arthur Dayne, "Get him for me, won't you, Arthur?"  
"Of course, Lya." Arthur Dayne breathed out and kissed Lyanna's hand before struggling to his feet, Ned wanted to rage, wanted to scream at him for daring to take a name into his mouth that wasn't his to use, but had Ned still earned the right in the end? Had he ever known his sister in the last years? 

Or had he been as blind as his father, as Brandon had been? Forcing her into something she fought so hard to shove away from herself?

He had to think of Benjen back in Winterfell, his little brother who was still so young, his little brother who had been ignored when everyone had called their banners and rode into this heart over head. Had Benjen known? His sister's best friend, had things been different if just anyone had listened to what he had wanted to say?

Too late, all too late. He would return to Winterfell with bones and Benjen would never forgive him.

Ned would never forgive himself.

He had believed in the bonds of a friendship over the bond of his blood. He had shoved a grieving terrified little brother away to call the Stark banners to join Robert's rebellion after their father and older brother had been killed in the Red Keep, he had never even looked back at his little brother's face when he had ridden to war.

Arthur had walked over to the woman with the blankets and Ned only now realized that it wasn't just blankets, it was a bundle. Carefully this woman with the fallen star on the trim of her skirt handed this bundle of a blanket stitched with dragons and wolves over into Arthur's arms, her fearful eyes set onto Ned.

A cry pierced through the somber silence but Arthur made hushing noises and everything turned quiet again as Arthur stepped back to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed this time, arranged himself so familiar next to Lyanna that Ned felt gratitude in knowing that his sister had not been alone, that there had been someone she had trusted with her.

Gratitude in his heart suddenly that Arthur hadn't even abandoned his sister's side to fight like his sworn brothers had. He had decided his place was next to Lyanna, whether or not he would die under a blade of the new King's army.

And when Arthur shifted and leaned over to settle the bundle into Lyanna's weak arms, Ned knew why.

The babe was small, so small and delicate, just like Benjen had been when Lord Rickard had first settled him into Ned's arms just mere hours after their mother had forever closed her eyes. A full head of black curls, making his head beat faster, thinking back to the fair haired babe so brutalized that only a tuft of silver hair proved his identity. Two children laid out in red cloaks in front of the Iron Thorne, in front of the new King.

This one wouldn't follow.

Robert would have to set the blade to Ned's own neck before he let anyone touch this child.

Lyanna smiled down at her babe, held him only with Arthur's help, too weak to carry so much weight anymore. "His name is Jaehaerys Targaryen, but we call him Jon." Lyanna shared a look with Arthur who faintly smiled down at her, looking closer to falling apart than ever. "Ned, you have to promise me to keep him safe, do not let Robert ever see him. I know what happened to...the poor children. Innocent children, judged by the actions of their father."

As if spurned on by his mother's pain to comfort her, the babe opened his eyes and Ned gasped while Lyanna and Arthur both smiled in sad happiness. 

Rhaegar's eyes. Such a violent violet that no one would ever look at them and not see the father. 

When he looked up again he caught his sister's tired grey eyes, "Promise me, Ned." She pleaded with him again, Arthur took the child from her arms when her hands began to shake, Ned selfishly reached for her hand, while the Knight stood up and handed the babe back to the woman from his brother's household in Starfall. "You have to promise me, Ned, keep him safe."

"I will, Lya, I will. I promise you. I will not let harm come to either of them." Ned gave his promise, gave his honor, swore on his life that he would protect his sister's son and the man who had stood by her when he couldn't. Arthur returned, knelt down again at the other side of the bed and took Lyanna's free hand, she turned to him and Ned looked away, knew her last moments had come.

"I will go to him." He nevertheless couldn't hear away when she spoke so quietly but with determined words, "I will find Rhaegar and I will be with him. I won't be alone and neither will he, Arthur. You will go on..."

"Lya..."

"You will go on, for Rhaegar, for me, for our son. You will protect him, tell him of his father, tell him of his mother." Lyanna's voice shook with half a cry but when Ned glanced over briefly it was the legendary knight who had the tears falling over his face and not his sister, "We will look down on you, you'll see us in the stars, like you always told me. We will be there, every night we will be with you. Farewell, my friend." Lyanna finished with a smile and Arthur leaned up to kiss her forehead, and then her hand before lowering his face again, his body shaking with quiet sobs.

"My Ned, my lovely Ned." Lyanna turned back to him and Ned looked down at her, forced himself to not miss a single breath, reached up with one hand to cradle her face, keeping a gentle tight hold of her hand with his other. "I am so sorry, so sorry. Please forgive me but I cannot live without him, not when Robert sits the throne. I love Rhaegar, I will never love anyone like I love him, I have to go to him. Tell Ben that I am so sorry, that I never...never wanted to leave him." Ned nodded, once, then twice, wiped away the single tear that fell from his sister's left eye, "I love you, brother."

"I love you, too, little sister."

"Don't let my death be in vain, don't let Robert win, my son has to live. Promise me, Ned...promise me."

"I promise." The words fell from his lips in a breathless whisper, for his sister had closed her eyes, her hand growing limp in his hold and her chest falling in one last quiet breath that escaped her pale lips.

And then she was gone.

Ned knew without a doubt that it hadn't been the fever that had taken her, no matter the official story he would have to spin for Robert. Lyanna had always been strong, too strong to succumb to what had killed their mother all these years ago.

The fever had only taken her because she had given up, not even her child enough to keep her in this world, to keep her from following Rhaegar where no one could pull them apart anymore.

\--

For minutes it was so quiet in the room that Ned feared for his hearing, but then he heard the distant sound of boots on the stairs outside the room and he somehow found the strength to force himself to his feet.

He turned to face the door just when Howland rounded the corner into the room and froze on the spot.

"Oh no." Howland gasped out and Ned let him pass when he could be sure he was alone, he turned to close and lock the door while Howland went to Lyanna's side. "Oh, Lyanna." Giving Howland a short moment to say farewell to the girl who had only a year and a bit ago defended him and avenged his honor, Ned walked over to where the Sword of the Morning still hadn't moved again. Carefully he pulled his sister's cold hand from those bigger ones and laid Lyanna's hands together in her lap.

"Ned?" Howland drew his attention when Ned had straightened up again, the crannogman's eyes set on Prince Rhaegar's best friend, Ned shook his head. No more death, he didn't want any more death.  
"Targaryen." He began instead and Arthur looked up, "She said Targaryen." He repeated, for now ignoring Howland's befuddled face as Arthur slowly got to his feet, moving like a man twice his age. "Why did she say Targaryen, Dayne?"

"Because they were wed." Arthur Dayne put it shortly, his voice sounding like a whetstone on a stunted knife, he turned to a chest in the corner, pulling out papers and handing them over to Ned. "A High Septon from the Citadel." Ned looked at the papers, official wedding papers. "Elia knew." Arthur continued, voice breaking even more, "Elia knew what they were doing, she accepted it."

"I didn't know." Ned found the urge to assure this man who had lost all purpose in a manner of weeks, he couldn't find anger inside of him anymore, not with how Lyanna had looked at Arthur, not after knowing the truth, "I didn't know what Tywin Lannister would order done to them. I never wanted anything to happen to the Princess or the children." Arthur nodded but didn't speak.

In the corner, Jon stirred again, a quiet cry showing of his discomfort, "Give him here, Wylla." Arthur called out when the quiet soothing of the woman holding the babe didn't comfort him. Ned looked at Howland's wide eyes and knew he wouldn't have to explain anything. Jon settled again quickly in the Knight's hold, those round violet eyes looking around.

"You will have to leave." Ned spoke out what they both knew, "Essos. Braavos might still be too close, better Pentos or Volantis even. And you will have to take the boy with you." It was a decision that ripped a part of him to shreds, but he knew there was no other choice, Arthur snapped his head up, lilac eyes going from watching Jon to staring at him. "He can't stay here, I can't take him North. I would, by the gods, I would, he has my blood, he has the Stark blood, but..."

"Not with those eyes." Arthur finished his sentence effortlessly.

"No, not with Rhaegar's eyes. How many people in Westeros are left with those? Robert is dead set on ridding the world of Targaryens, he had the corpses of Rhaegar's children laid out in front of the Iron Throne." Ned will never forgive him that, glorifying the slaughter of children, "He will look at this boy and see Rhaegar. Not Lyanna. Lyanna's blood will mean nothing to him, when the other half is Rhaegar's."

"If you ride for Starfall, a ship can sail to Essos before King Robert will think us gone too long." Howland spoke up as well, "We will burn the dead. No one here will know that Ser Arthur is not among them." A look sent to both woman, the wetnurse Wylla held their looks easily, her chin stubbornly set, the other woman frightfully looked back at them, searching for Arthur's eyes most of all.

"They are maids from my brother's household. Wylla has been with my family for long, she will not speak, and Lola cannot speak." Arthur explained, rocking Jon gently back and forth. "If you will let us leave, I will protect this child with my life. I will raise him in the honor of his father's and his mother's sacrifices, but we shall not return to any other places other than my brother's castle until the day the...King Robert dies."

"You will not raise him as a future king?"

"I don't care for the Iron Throne, I never did. I swore an oath to protect the people who sit it, but my King died, my Prince died. My service to the crown has ended. Let other houses reign over these kingdoms, it will only be their ruin." Arthur ranted with as much fire as he could still find in himself, Ned nodded in the end.

"Howland, can you prepare Lyanna for transport? We should leave for Starfall as soon as possible. I will see to it that the dead are burned and their ashes packed. Too many families will not see their sons buried in these days, I do not wish for it to become even more." Ned said and turned to Wylla, "Can you prepare what you will need for the boy for the travel to Starfall?"

"Of course, my Lord."

\--

When the sun was no longer highest in the sky, they were on their way, Ned riding along Arthur at the front, trusting the Dornishman's direction in the tricky mountains where so many had already gone lost forever. The woman called Lola steering the small carriage that held Wylla and Jon, Howland steering the small improvised wagon holding Lyanna's body, wrapped tight in a white cloak.

"I have no use of mine anymore." Arthur had said when he had handed it to Howland, "And she used it as her maidencloak at the wedding. She would like it."

When Starfall came into view, the drawbridge was already being lowered, Ned guessed that the sight of silver hair alone in these times could not mean a lot of people anymore. They rode through the quiet village that laid on the cliffs of the mighty Torrentine where it crashed into the sea, Dorne was in mourning. Some people on the streets sent prayers up into the heavens when they rode past, and Ned knew they had only eyes for the brother of their Lord, not for anyone else, at least someone returning to them. 

By the time they arrived in the courtyard, Lord Dayne himself was standing at the bottoms of the stairs, his sister Ashara at his side, her hands flying up to cover her mouth when she saw her brother. Broken as he was, at least he was alive.

The castle had no flags flying, grieving for the Princess and her children, for the Prince turned Knight, for the kinsman Dorne has lost in the war. Ned was only glad now he didn't have to return a son of theirs to add to the list. One carriage was already filled with too much dead.

Ned was slow to dismount, let Arthur take the lead, heavy steps over to his siblings after a stableboy had come running to take his horse. He managed to make it over to his brother when his legs gave out, sinking onto his knees while his brother crouched down. 

Ned looked away and over to the woman walking towards him as he handed the reigns of his own horse to a squire.

"I am so sorry."

They spoke at the same time, Ashara's hands reaching for his, this beautiful woman who looked so out of this world at Harrenhall, in her grief she was mortal now. Even more because they shared grief over someone they both loved.

Brandon had been dead for months now, and it still felt unreal. 

More unreal than Lyanna.

"Lyanna is dead." He went on, "She lived long enough to birth a child and say goodbye to me before she followed her Prince." Ashara smiled in sadness, squeeing his hands, sending a quick look over to her brothers, the older one comforting the younger one.  
"The child?" Ashara wanted to know from him and Ned wordlessly took her hand, guided her over to the carriage where Lola helped Wylla down. Ashara greeted them warmly and held her arms out for the boy.

Jon woke from his nap and Ashara gasped softly at the sight of him.

"What will happen of him?" She asked in a whisper but Ned didn't answer when he saw the shadow falling over her. He inclined his head to Lord Andric Dayne and got one in return.  
"We will discuss it later." Andric Dayne began, "After rest has been given. Your brother needs a Maester and sleep, and I am sure Lord Stark and Lord Reed will not turn down a moment to breathe as well. I will have people see to your sister's body, Lord Stark, so you may carry her bones home with you."

"Thank you, Lord Dayne."

Ashara carried Jon into the castle herself, instructing Wylla and Lola to take rest and a bath, that she would see to the boy for now. Ned waited until Howland came over to him before they joined Lord Dayne in following two guards who were supporting Arthur between them into the castle.

\--

They were served a supper after they had been given warm water for baths and rooms to rest in for the night. 

And Ned cried when he was alone.

Cried for his sister, his brother, his father and the friends he had lost to a war that had been built on a lie.

\--

When morning dawned, he felt rested, not even grief had been able to keep him from sleep when the exhaustion won out. It didn't make his mind any easier but it helped his body gain new strength. He asked a maid to guide him to where the babe was kept and she led him to the nursery, announced his presence to Lady Ashara who was sitting in a rocking chair.

Her arms held not Jon though.

"My brother thought it saver to bring upon the rumor of a stillborn girl in these times." She said when they were left alone and Ned walked closer, eyes drawn to the boy in her arms, happily playing with a lock of his mother's hair.

Because who would not recognize those eyes, those haunting violet eyes.

"I understand." Ned offered her and crouched down at her side, looked up into that little face with dark brown hair and a bright gummy smile. The child had seen a few moons already, and Ned felt his heart warm a little in its icy grip as he looked at his brother's son.  
"I named him Torrhen." Ashara explained, "Brandon didn't know, but I think it was better for him to die such without knowing there was a child he left behind." Ned agreed wholeheartedly, "Do you want to hold him? You are his uncle."

He took the boy gladly, smiled when those small eyes looked at him in curious wonder, "I have a son, too." He told Ashara, "I got news of him when we reached King's Landing. My wife named him Robb." Ashara smiled as well, happy for him, despite all the pain. She went to her feet when quiet sniffles could be heard from a crib, Ned secured his hold on little Torrhen Sand and followed her. 

Jon laid in a crib and stopped sniffling the moment he caught sight of people watching him, Ned wondered if the boy just didn't want to be alone. Ashara took Torrhen from him again and set him down into the crib alongside Jon, the older boy settled down with one hand reaching for that of his cousin.

Both boys watched each other as they fell asleep again.

"Let me walk you down to break our fast. Andric will be up already and we have a lot to talk about, even without Arthur joining us for now."

\--

Four days later, Ned was watching a trading ship leave Starfall for Pentos, carrying away two nephews that he was likely to never see again.

In Pentos Ashara and Arthur would seek voyage into another one of the Free Cities, for their and most of all the boys' safety, Ned and Howland had not been told, the Dayne siblings had kept it between them.

Letters had been promised, once a safe way had been found, but Ned didn't care, all he cared about was knowing that Torrhen and most of all Jon would be safe. Safe in the hands of two people Ned trusted now, trusted to raise those boys without ever letting them forget who their fathers and mother had been.

Torrhen would live with a mother who loved him dearly, he would not hear rumors about his person, would not be faced with cruel taunts because his parents had been in love too wild, would not be faced with being a living reminder of how terrible his father had died.

And Jon.

Jon would _live_.

"I will have the tower burned to its foundation." Andric Dayne said as they walked back to the castle, "People may come looking, they will not find anything. Will you go to King's Landing from here? I can provide you passage with a ship. You have spared my brother's life, our families are bound by the blood of my nephew."

And the secret of a now lost Targaryen prince.

"No, I will ride north. It will be a long time until I set foot into the capital again. I need to bury my sister, bring my wife and my son home." Ned answered the older man, "The Red Keep will never be a place for Starks again, not even when a friend sits the throne."  
"Dorne will close its doors, draw itself back. What the Lannisters did to our Princess and her children will not go unpunished." Andric pointed out to him what Ned had already expected, Dorne would not go into open rebellion, but they would go quiet, quiet and scheming.

But Ned was tired of politics, tired of this bloody game.

All he wanted to do was go home.

"But we will not forget what the Lord of Winterfell did for us. I will write Prince Doran on the morrow, tell him of your role in convincing King Robert to sent the Princess' ashes to her home, along with her children's. And I will write him of your service to my house." Andric went on as they reached the castle walls once more.

The service to House Dayne.

Delivering the body and the sword of the slain Sword of the Morning back to Starfall.

A lie needed for the trickery. A lie Robert would believe without trouble, all in the name of Ned Stark's honor. A lie the people of the castle and the smallfolk in the village would all share in, because Arthur Dayne was theirs, their golden son and their loyalty was always to Dorne first.

It would be okay.

\--

Arriving in Winterfell was a solemn event, people lined the courtyard on both sides but no one smiled, grim saddened faces all around.

Ned had returned. With a wife and a son.

And the bones of his father, brother and sister.

Benjen didn't look at him, didn't say a single word to him at all, not when he greeted Catelyn and little Robb, not when they stood side by side in the crypts and watched their family be laid to rest under statues that were not yet fully ready. 

For a whole fortnight, Benjen remained silent. 

Until he sought out Ned in the godswood, where Ned was sitting in front of the weirwood tree, holding Ice and having no idea what to do. He had never been meant for it, had never been meant for any of it.

"I'm taking the Black." Benjen began, still not looking at Ned, staring with dark eyes at the tree and its tears. Despite his little brother's silence, Ned had nevertheless drawn him into a private corner far far down in the crypts a few days after his return, had told his brother the full truth, because he deserved to know.

"No." Ned protested, setting Ice to the side and getting to his feet, fear and terror curling in the pit of his stomach upon the thought of losing Benjen to the Wall. "You wanted to be a knight, I will not let you go to the Wall. I will find a House where you can squire to become a Knight."

And then Benjen looked at him for the first time, and the accusation in those dark eyes threw Ned back against the tree almost.

"Don't make me say it." Benjen snarled at him, "We both know what my heart knows to be the truth." And he didn't recognize the little boy anymore that he had left behind so long ago when he had left for the Vale, forced to grow up long past his years. Things had already been difficult in Harrenhall, nothing shared anymore, Benjen had grown up with Brandon and Lyanna.

Not with Ned.

"We are the only ones left." Ned tried to not let the panic inside of him be in control, "We have to hold together now. I know you blame..."  
"You." Benjen cut between his words, "I blame _you_." And there the words were, slicing through him like knives, "I blame you, Ned. For everything. You left us, you left the pack and you befriended the man who made my sister want to run away!"

It was the most he would ever get of a confession that Benjen had known the truth all along.

"I blame Father and Bran for not listening to me, for rushing off when I could have explained, when I could have told them everything. I blame Robert for his madness because that was what he was, what he is! Just as mad as the Mad King was!" And Benjen turned to yelling, hands curled into fists at his side, "Prince Rhaegar was a decent man, and he loved Lya, but why would anyone ever listen for a second to stupid Ben! And I blame you most of all! For not being here when we needed your clear head! For not bringing Robert fucking Baratheon to reason! You killed our family!"

He slapped Benjen then. An action born in grief and guilt, regretted before it even really happened.

Benjen stumbled back, tears hot in his eyes as he held his cheek.

"You will not take the Black."

"WHY?" Benjen screamed at him, "Why are you forcing me to stay! You have a wife, you have an heir! Let me go, Ned! I have nothing here anymore, nothing!" You have me, Ned wanted to tell him, you have me, your brother, but he knew very well that he wasn't the brother Benjen wanted, not anymore. "Why will you torture me with their ghosts! I can still see them, Ned, can still hear them, laughing, talking, being happy. Why can't you let me go?"

"I will." Ned answered him quietly, calm and empty, too tired to even raise his voice, "I will let you go, but not to the Wall. That is not what Lyanna would have wanted for you." It was a low blow, especially coming from him, but it worked, Benjen dropped his eyes to stare at the ground, crying openly now. Once more Ned was reminded that Benjen was only thirteen.  
"What else is there for me?" Benjen croaked out between his silent sobs and Ned made a step forward, and aborted it immediately when Benjen took two back.

"Starfall."

\--

Andric replied to his raven within three days, and two days later already, Ned stared from the gallery how his only remaining sibling rode off with two guards to board a ship in White Harbor, bound for the coast of Dorne to become a squire in Starfall.

Benjen left without a glance back.

But his little brother would become a knight, like Brandon and Lyanna would have wanted for him. At least someone would get the future they had wanted and deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the very first thing I am posting in this fandom and though I have ideas to turn this into a series of oneshots, I do not know when other works might get posted.


End file.
